Monday, February 7, 2011

****How Can We Promote Inner Beauty?****

After watching the news this evening there was a lead story on the message young people feel they need to project to fit in. Most of us have been there. In school we were judged by how we dressed and who we dated, and it appears that hasn't changed.

However, what has changed is the type of pressure our youth faces. When we chose not to conform,we faced less invitations to parties and less people around our table at lunch. Today our youth gets taunted and even bullied physically.

For young girls skirts and tops are shorter, young guys pants are worn 3x their size and hang almost to their knees, and even when some parents lay down the law their young children change their clothes in school just to escape ridicule. What is really sad for some of these young adults, is that they are going against who they really are, and as a result find themselves with a real problem of low self-esteem.

It is so important that we pass on to our children that it is more important to feel good about who you are inside, than how we decorate our outer body. If we can show that being a loving, warm, contributing human being is really what it's all about, I think we are aiding in creating a future world that holds hope and promise.

If we cave every time our children become angry and say hurtful things, we too are guilty of worrying about having a friendship with our kids and being the "cool Mom or Dad," rather than parenting the way we know would really help; even though the stance we take may put a strain on the relationship between parent and child.

To many of our young are depressed, even suicidal, one of the High Schools in the Albany area have had 5 suicides in just under 5 months, that is a child a month, how frightening is that?  Between the commercials, music videos, even the Reality Shows, they are being sent really powerful and misguided messages.

We can't build a fortress and cut all connection to the arts, but we can instill that eventually physical beauty changes, but true beauty is everlasting.Would they rather have temporary acceptance and feel bad inside? or Have a permanent peace, and sense of who they are, that will carry them guilt-free and happily on their journey through life.

In my book I cover the name calling and teasing I withstood, and have written about this on previous blogs, however, after hearing these kids tonight speak about how they feel they have no choice, and that it's a necessity to their acceptance really struck a nerve.

There are so many valley's and mountains ahead, that if we can't come together to reassure these young people that being who they truly are is the basis of where they wind up; I am afraid their roads will have very few sections without obstacles or road blocks.

So I guess what I would love to hear from you is: If you have had success with your young teenagers, what was it that gave them this reassurance? And for those of us who may be experiencing similar circumstances, what are your thoughts on turning this around? So that depression and low self-esteem can be put to rest, and confidence and happiness can be restored in our future generations...

I myself found out at a young age, that no matter how many times I reinvented myself, there was still a group that wouldn't accept me or like me, and decided that if I liked me and God liked me, that even if only a few kids befriended me, it was me they were really liking and caring for, and not someone I had to work hard on being, and the truth is, that small handful of true friends I made in school are still my dear friends today... May you all have a fruitful, safe and blessed week ahead and May God continue to hold you all in His loving embrace...Patricia©


  1. Hi Patricia:

    I attended public schools when I was growing up and it matters alot in how we dress and the style of hair we have. It matters alot that we fit in.

    But with my kids, they are in a private school. Uniforms automatically makes everyone the same so they are fit in. The preaching of the gospel about the love of Christ, and how they should honor their parents have been planted in their hearts early on.

    As a parent, I have the same concern as you. You know what they say that we become just like our parents.

    And I pray that no matter what kinds of turbulance come their way in life, they will know that they are never alone because God is with them always. No one can separate them from the love of Christ.


  2. Hi Patricia,
    Great post!! What times we live in! Our kids are bombarded by commercialism and Satanic groups praying against families....crazy times. I feel the first and formost thing that we should do is pray for the children and families everywhere.
    In our house we have no t.v. and when there is an opportunity to watch t.v. there are only certain programs that are allowed, same goes with movies. We weigh things against the Word of God and if it goes against the good Book then we do watch or read it. Now, when the kids were little this was easy but with them in their teen years this can be challenging. My son is very rebellious and we are constantly on top of him and if it were not for prayer I am sure we would be sunk! :)
    I think it is very important to instill into our kids their identity in Jesus. When they know who they are and who they belong to they will learn to stand up against the flow of society. Tons of encouragement, praise for doing right and correction and disipline when doing wrong. Prayer, prayer and more prayer at all hours of the day for Satan never sleeps and is always on the prowl.

    Thanks for this great post Patricia and also thank you for praying for those on my blog. If you remember Samuel, from Finding Joy, he is very sick with celiac disease and now has phenumonia.


  3. I believe if one quits caring what others think about them and instead puts their focus and concern on what God thinks that this will help them to become themselves.

    God Bless,


  4. Thank you for sharing such an insightful post. Blessings.

  5. Thanks for your post.
    It is hard to reinforce that the inner part of you is what matters most to our kids. I have two teenage boys. My older son sometimes struggles with his self perception.

    I try to be encouraging. It's hard to see him down sometimes. I hope and pray that he will be able to look at himself how God sees him...with love.

    We all need to see and experience God's love for us before we can love ourselves and love others. He first loved us and that's where, I believe our inward identity should come from.


  6. You were wise beyond your years growing up, you had the kind of attitude that our moms all tell us to have, and yet today that is even harder. Schools are nothing like we knew them, and the peer pressure is unbelieveable! More and more people we know are now home schooling because school has become such a scary place, not a safe haven anymore, those days are truly gone with the wind...

  7. My two boys experienced this to some degree when growing up. All I can tell anyone is to just cover them in prayer.....and listen, listen, listen, without being too judgemental. It is, indeed, more difficult these days in the public schools. I could tell you some horror stories, as my husband was a teacher for almost 30 years. But what about the children that don't have loving, caring, praying parents? There are so many of them. I think one thing that made a difference with the kids my husband taught were that they KNEW he really cared. They KNEW he loved them and had their best interests at heart. So, as with our own children, love them, teach them God's Word, listen to them, and don't assume anything they tell you is just a small issue :)

  8. This is such a "I could type/talk about this all day topic."

    In my opinion, you have to make peace with who you are and how God designed you. It wasn't until I met my birth dad in 2003 that I "began" to accept and truly love myself.

    I don't remember anyone "complimenting" on my looks when I was younger. My low self esteem came from "not feeling" pretty or good enough. My sister use to "tease" me a lot. I was skinny and I had and still have a deep voice. One friend told me that I could even pass for a boy. That stuck with me for a long time.

    I wanted curves! I prayed on it for a long time ;-) Now that I'm 46, I'm like, "OK God, enough already." I've got curves and then some...

    My daughter wasn't complimented much because I didn't recieve it growing up. I always told her that she was smart. She got saved last February and she made a comment about wanting to get some new clothes because the girls in "DC dressed really fly." I asked her if she were to have on the exact same outfit how would it make her feel and she couldn't quite answer that.

    I told her that Jesus loves her just as she is and He is the only one that loves us unconditionally.

    I am certain without a shadow of a doubt that the confidence that I wear today is "knowing full well" that Jesus loves me and created my unique.

    PS can't wait to purchase your book!


  9. Hi, Patricia. Well, I don't think anyone, teenagers or even us as adults, can escape SOME times of depression and low self-esteem. It goes hand-in-hand with happiness. That's life. BUT, I always told my son (who is now 20) that as long as he has ONE friend, he can be happy. I told him that sometimes a lot of people with HUGE amount of friends really don't have GREAT friends, those people are just acquaintences. So I think if a kid has even just ONE person to eat lunch with, go the movies with, that kid is blessed. And it's up to parents to build up our kids' self-esteem by letting them know that "no matter what" that we, as their parent, are proud, and that's all that matters. If a person says that enough times to their kid and MEANS it, then I think the child will be OK. The child/teenager will KNOW that there's always SOMEONE he or she can depend on. They will know there's at least ONE person (their mom or dad) who thinks the world of them.
    P.S. I have tried and tried to become a FOLLOWER of yours... It keeps making me re-log in, and I do so, but my face is not showing up!! Plus, your blog does not show up on my blog list! So I'm sorry, I will keep trying. Just wanted to let you know.

  10. One of the worst things Patricia, is the clothes wholesalers make and sell for young girls under the age of 12 that look like something a prositute would wear. Even worse again is the mothers who buy those clothes for them!